I’m really sick of it. Huh? No, not optometry, although, now that you mention it… but that’s another column. Yesterday, I tested positive for COVID.

Yes, I am 71, somewhat obese (I added the “somewhat” out of vanity) and on blood pressure medications, but I blame my physician for that. He’s the one who prescribed it, after all, not me.

My symptoms are very typical and mild. A runny nose, cough, fatigue, muscle aches, mild headache and the desire to binge-watch Bridgerton. Of course, I had these same symptoms when I didn’t have COVID, too. That is, all except the urge to watch Bridgerton thing, which was what convinced me that this was indeed COVID. Tested negative at 9am and positive at 6pm.

I learned some things while trying to get treatment. Turns out that doctors don’t actually want to see sick patients (they can get a lot of work done when there are no patients), so I had to hurdle better than Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone to finally shame a little in-pharmacy clinic down the road to prescribe Paxlovid (nirmatrelvir and ritonavir tablets, Pfizer).

Now, I must say, Paxlovid is amazing. Within two doses, I was feeling pretty good and was able to turn the channel to more normal TV shows like stuff about Vikings and baking.

My semi-retirement allows me five-day weekends, and I always plan my illnesses around that so I will be able to avoid patients… kinda like physicians do every day.

So, what do YOU do when your patient calls? Do you tell them it is critically important you receive care right away, but you can’t see them until next week? No. There are a lot of differences in the optometric world when compared to the MD world. For one thing, the MD has no clue you even called… you always speak to some kind of machine and then some kind of call center where some kind of AI avatar can only repeat the mantra about how you should be seen quickly but you can’t come here so go somewhere else and, by the way, would you mind answering a short survey about the quality of service you received today at the end of this call? The MD is busy with more important things than ill patients, like checking prostates.

No, in our world, the doctor is actually consulted by the REAL HUMAN staffer who tells you the patient’s story, so you can make the right decision about seeing them, treating from afar, or immediate referral to the proper specialist. Yep, for better or worse, WE are in the mix when a patient calls with his or her emergency. Of course, we have more time as we do not have to check prostates.

Today, my wife tested positive for COVID. We spent an hour trying to get her seen because her doctor was out of the office, and the fill-in doctor would have to see her to get her on meds but didn’t have any openings unless this was, I guess, a prostate issue. We tried to enter the new age of care with a virtual visit, but the website just told us:
“Nope.”

She is now on a waiting list to possibly see the provider I was able, finally, to see yesterday. Maybe she’ll be seen. Maybe she’ll win the lottery. Who knows? Maybe we’ll just show up and threaten to take off our masks and cough.

Anyway, COVID and the adventure it provided convinced me, even more, that optometrists are special. In the continuing evolution of our profession, I hope we don’t forget that, bottom line, we take care of real folks, not just voices on the phone. Always prescribe what works, and don’t forget to recommend Bridgerton if all else fails.

Dr. Vickers received his optometry degree from the Pennsylvania College of Optometry in 1979 and was clinical director at Vision Associates in St. Albans, WV, for 36 years. He is now in private practice in Dallas, where he continues to practice full-scope optometry. He has no financial interests to disclose.